


Bathrooming

by Simplistically_content



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Curiosity, Established Relationship, Long Weirdass Kink Negotiation, M/M, No Plot, Watersports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 11:28:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7169198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simplistically_content/pseuds/Simplistically_content
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>He felt himself clench – stemming the flow, as it were, when he saw what Clint was doing and he looked up, raising an eyebrow as their shoulders and upper arms brushed. Clint was smirking at him, his own eyebrows doing a weirdass dance on his forehead that made Bucky frown.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Wha’d’ya say, Sarge? You hold mine, I’ll hold yours?” </em>
</p>
<p>OR</p>
<p>Bucky gets curious and things just progress from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bathrooming

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly have no idea where this came from... the ether somewhere, probably Tumblr. I generally blame tumblr for all my plot (HA!) devices and then things like this happen...
> 
> It's my first Marvel 'verse fic (posted) so.... be kind?
> 
> This isn't really compliant with any of the movies so much as it exists in an AU reality outside of them? Basically, I took Clint and Bucky and threw them in an apartment and made them work for a living.
> 
> I really need to go back to playing the Sims like a normal person.

Clint and Bucky had been together for just over a year. They did their avenging, they did their paperwork, they came home. It was life.

That’s really all the backstory to them you’d need, if any at all.

They generally wake up within minutes of each other… the first one up gets the bathroom, the second one gets coffee and then they switch. It’s not a ritual so much as it just works. They’ve never made an issue of it, never talked about it. It happens, just like it happens in every damn house across America. There’s no deep meaning to it.

Until there kind of is…

One morning, they both work up within seconds and once Clint had his ears in, he just grunted and shoved Bucky towards the bathroom, taking the hit and going to set the coffee machine going because he was a nice guy. Morning relief was always a strong motivator but when they both forget to fill the coffee machine with water the night prior, it becomes a test of wills as he pitches a full bladder against the low water pressure of his building and the agonising time it takes to fill the damn tank.

He won’t waste a filtration of coffee on half a tank of water, fuck you very much.

So he waits and its torture. The stream of water is slow, spluttering and _noisy_ and before he knows it, he’s shifting on the spot, crossing his legs (because that always helps), bending over slightly (because pressure on his bladder? A sure fire way to stave off the need to piss)… and in the end he’s bouncing (movement, anyone?) until finally, the tank is full. He slides it into place, turns the machine on and sprints to the bathroom. The door’s ajar but that doesn’t mean anything between them.

They only ever close the thing when they have company anyway.

He sees Bucky sat down on the toilet, sleep shorts around his ankles as he hunches over, elbows resting on knees with his phone in hand. In his place, Clint would probably (and has been before) asleep on the toilet (Bucky has the picture because that shit’s just funny – no pun intended) but Bucky goes from asleep to awake and that’s all there is to it. He’s reading something Clint’s bleary eyes can’t make out but it’s probably important so he clears his throat anyway even though he knows Bucky heard him sprinting down the hall.

“You done?” he asked, one hand on his junk as he leans against the door frame. “I will literally piss myself if you’re not done in the next twenty seconds.”

“Do I look done?” Bucky asked, because he’s a shit (let’s just not count the puns for this one).

“I dunno, man… I mean… I can sit there for a good ten minutes after if I’m stuck on a level of Angry Birds-”

“I’m not done,” he was interrupted, quite rudely, and he groaned.

“Come on, Buck,” he whined. Actually whined. “I’m dying here!”

“I’m not stopping you from having a damn piss, Barton.”

“You’re not in the damn army anymore, Sarge!” Clint was still whining. “We take turns in the bathroom, it’s not a community event-”

“And yet you’re standing there, watching me shit… Shall I stick you down for tomorrow morning too?” he looked up, eyes glistening and his lips twisted up in a smirk that was seriously enjoying the torment he was causing his partner right then.

“Please?” Clint bounced, the sound of the whined (again) word coming out jittery and Buck snorted, turning back to his phone.

“I’m not stopping you from having a piss,” he repeated easily. “There’s the sink, there’s a shower… as long as you wash it out after I’m really not bothered where you do it… but if you wanna wait another couple of minutes…” he glanced up, smirking. “I’m stuck on a level of Candy Crush and I’m not moving till I get over it.”

“Such a dick,” Clint groaned but eventually, gave in and shimmied out of his pants before stepping into the shower. He cursed loudly as he turned it on.

“You love my dick, so shut it,” Bucky responded, unmoved, as his boyfriend was forced to shower in cold water as the heating kicked in.

He didn’t mean to watch per se… it was more the fact that he’d finished his emails and if he ever actually opened Candy Crush while on the toilet, he’d probably never get off the thing, so instead, he cocked his head to the side and watched as Clint let his feet spread out to the width of the shower stall, a few inches beyond shoulder width. He saw Clint’s dick hanging down, twitching until a relieved groan echoed around the room signalling his bladder releasing its load. He watched Clint piss into the bottom of the shower, not even bothering to aim and he didn’t know why, but the action fascinated him in a way he’d never thought of before.

The heating had obviously kicked in soon after the water had been turned on as the steam carried the odour of the urine up and over the top of the sliding door. Bucky’s nose wrinkled almost as a reflex but he didn’t comment as he was sure, were the positions reversed, Clint would very much so, whole heartedly and with great, great pleasure.

Because _he’s_ a little shit.

He released a breath as he finished his own business and once he was all wiped up, he stood and pulled his pants up. He glanced towards the shower as he went to flush and smirked, waiting until Clint had moved to stand directly under the spray, his head tilted upwards.

After he flushed, he had about ten seconds of pure cursing where he could wash his hands without causing Clint anymore discomfort (before the toilet system reset) and he laughed the entire time.

“Don’t worry, baby,” Bucky cooed when Clint emerged 10 minutes later weather sweats and one of his Cap tees. “Hot coffee is a go.”

“See if I love your dick for the rest of the day, Barnes,” Clint grunted, making Bucky laugh again. He set the other man’s drink down on the coffee table and walked away so he could gather his things up, stuffing everything he needed in his gym bag before coming up behind where Clint was sat on the sofa. He gently fisted a hand in the other man’s hair and tugged until he was hovering upside down over Clint’s face.

“Training the brats today, I’ll bring pizza back. Should be home for 1900…”

“You’re still a dick,” Clint grumbled but allowed and even responded to the kiss Bucky planted on him.

“Love you.”

And then he was gone.

 

* * *

 

 

Though nothing that dramatic happened again, it never really left Bucky’s mind. He wasn’t really sure what interested him the most… the actual act of urinating? The urine itself… the smell… all three? Or the fact that it was Clint. He honestly didn’t know and he didn’t really know how to go about finding out.

On a morning a week or so after the first incident, Clint was heading into work early so he was ‘bathrooming’ while Bucky did the coffee. Apparently, according to Clint it was totally a verb, Oxford just hadn’t caught up yet. When Bucky got to the bathroom, Clint was actually in the shower but as the toilet was free, he shrugged and stepped up to it.

“Not in the army, Buck,” Clint said, sounding amused. A glance towards the shower told him the other man had turned around under the spray to watch him, the small smirk tipping at the corner of his lips told Bucky that Clint was indeed, highly amused, but Bucky had had some coffee so he didn’t care.

“I’m going to take a piss now,” Bucky said deliberately, unnecessarily and Clint barked out a laugh as Bucky finally turned away and did exactly that.

“Feels good after you’ve been holding it a while, to let it all go, doesn’t it?” Clint asked, the sound of his voice telling Bucky the other man had turned around again.

“It feels like pissing,” Bucky replied with an eyeroll as he finished. He shook until he was done and tucked himself away. “I’ll wash up in the kitchen, flush when you’re done, yeah?”

“Sure, thanks baby!” Clint crowed and Bucky wondered, idly, why he put up with the man-child he’d come to love.

It took Clint longer than it normally would in the shower but Bucky wasn’t on the clock until midday so he didn’t make too much of a note of it other than to hold up a travel mug of coffee without looking away from his cell when his boyfriend came rushing through sounding harried as he cursed himself for getting distracted.

“If you’re late, Steve will make you do laps with the recruits,” Bucky reminded him without looking up.

“He won’t,” Clint said confidently. “The last time he tried, I spent the first lap explaining how hard you fucked me the night before while I was wearing a Cap t-shirt, through our private comms. He didn’t let me do another lap.”

“We didn’t fuck that night,” Bucky looked up at Clint, confused, and Clint smirked before pressing a quick kiss to Bucky’s lips.

“I picked one from the archive,” he laughed and left.

“And he wonders why Steve doesn’t like us training the recruits together,” he sighed to himself.

 

* * *

 

 

He didn’t have to wait long for the next incident, as the next morning he was in the bathroom spitting out mouthwash when he felt the need so he rinsed again and moved to the toilet where, after he’d taken his dick out, he was joined by Clint.

They didn’t often have early starts together, something about them being a bad influence on the kids, but it was nice when they could go through the motions together. Damn near domestic.

He felt himself clench – stemming the flow, as it were, when he saw what Clint was doing and he looked up, raising an eyebrow as their shoulders and upper arms brushed. Clint was smirking at him, his own eyebrows doing a weirdass dance on his forehead that made Bucky frown.

“Wha’d’ya say, Sarge? You hold mine, I’ll hold yours?” he actually winked before laughing. Seconds later, Bucky heard the splash of pee hitting the water in the toilet and he suddenly remembered his own need. He stifled the gasp as he felt the piss in his own bladder release and flow out the end of his dick and for the life of him, he couldn’t possibly tell anyone why the hell he’d gasped. Shock at the sudden heat? Shock that he’d resumed just after Clint had started? Shock that whatever was happening, was actually fucking happening? He had no idea.

Okay, so he’d narrowed it down to shock in one form or another.

His shock, however, did not prevent him from seeing the arm creeping up behind him and he shook himself off with his right hand while his left gripped Clint’s right with ease.

“Unless you plan on blowing me in the car before work, don’t even think about what you were about to start…” he said without looking at the other man.

“Steve said we couldn’t do that anymore,” he actually sounded sullen at the fact.

“Steve ever tell you I was his first blowjob?”

“How pissed would Tony be if I spent the morning teasing Steve about that?” Clint was practically vibrating with renewed enthusiasm. “Wait-” he stopped them both as they moved out of the bathroom, the toilet flushing behind them. “Giving or receiving?” Bucky just snorted and moved them along.

 

“Now Cap,” Clint’s tone was teasing as he walked into the restroom where both Cap and Bucky had been idly chatting after they’d both used the facilities. “You wouldn’t be trying to talk Bucky here into getting to his knees for you again, would you?” As predicted, Steve flushed in a combination of horror and embarrassment before he spun around and glared at his chuckling best friend.

“You told him?” he demanded.

“How’d it go again?” Bucky pretended to think. _“’Come on Buck… look at me! Who the hell-‘”_ Steve’s hand slapped down over Bucky’s mouth firmly, cutting off anything he might go onto say.

“It happened, when we were 17,” Steve ground out, flicking his eyes between the couple, who were both looking like this was the most hilarious thing either of them had ever witnessed. “It was fun, it ne-” He caught Bucky’s raised eyebrow and flushed a darker shade of red that had Clint biting his lip to keep in the cackles. “It happened a few times during the commandos… but nothing since,” he stressed, almost desperately, as he looked at Clint. “I swear…”

“Cap,” Clint chuckled. “Relax, I believe you… I was kidding,” it was sweet, how Steve slumped, dropping his hand, relieved. “Although that image is enough to get anyone to attention,” he winked, adjusting his junk very obviously, not holding back his laughter as Steve left the room muttering-slash-lamenting his choice in friends.

“You can’t help yourself, can you?” Bucky was smiling though as he sat on the side by the wash basins.

“You would think me ill if I acted any other way, my love,” Clint said importantly, snorting to himself as he turned to the urinals and unzipped. He caught Bucky’s eyes in the mirrors at head height and held his gaze as he let loose his bladder.

Bucky saw the slow arch of his eyebrow and forced himself to hold his position, unwilling to back down from the perceived challenge. More dare, than anything else he’d say, but still. He held Clint’s gaze until the man looked down to shake off and tuck himself away. He pushed the flush button and turned to wash his hands.

“Hey Doll,” Clint drawled, his Brooklyn accent so flawless it made Bucky grin. “Need a hand with that?” he settled himself between Bucky’s spread legs and gestured to the tent in his combat trousers.

_‘Sergeant Barnes, Agent Barton, Captain Rogers has requested I remind you both that you are, in fact, inside a public bathroom within this facility and that new recruits look to you senior agents as role models. Captain Rogers would like it known that being caught having sex in a bathroom does not, a good role model, make.’_

“FRIDAY, can you please wait until Steve is with a group of new recruits before delivering a message from me?” Clint asked, and received an affirmative. “Please tell him ‘It is rude to cockblock your best friend.”

“Oh God,” Bucky just laughed.

 

The message had been delivered but FRIDAY had been aware enough to deliver it direct to Steve’s comms rather than over the PA and both Clint and Bucky had been present. The incident had ended with Steve putting both of them on spar watch for two hours but the blushing face of Captain America was worth it.

 

* * *

 

 

“Why are you up this early? It’s Sunday,” Bucky asked quietly as he heard Clint padding across the tiles of the bathroom floor so he could turn the shower on.

“Felt you leave,” Clint mumbled and he took the cell from Bucky’s hands, setting it on the system before he shuffled and sat down he was straddling Bucky where he sat, on the toilet… He buried his face in the crook of Bucky’s neck and inhaled the scent of sleep and sweat.

“Coffee on?” Bucky murmured and felt Clint shake his head in a negative. “Hey Doll,” he tipped his head back and watched Clint lever himself up by resting his forearm across Bucky’s chest. “What’re you doing?”

“I’m sitting on your lap,” Clint answered without opening his eyes beyond the slither they were already open. “And when you’re done, you’re gonna shower with me.”

“Clint…” he groaned and felt Clint drop into his neck again.

“Turn my ears off if it makes you feel better,” he heard and sighed, raising both hands up to press against Clint’s ears instead of turning them off. He rolled his eyes when he felt the grin press against his collarbone. “I have literally eaten my cum from your ass… and then went digging for more. Buck, I’ve been in the circus… Social hang ups aside, this really doesn’t bother me. But if it bothers you, I won’t do it again…” he spoke without moving out from Bucky’s neck and Bucky released a slow breath as he finished.

“You sit on my lap while I take a shit… you can go put the coffee on while I wipe my damn ass, okay?” Clint chuckled but nodded, pressing a light nip to Bucky’s neck before disappearing.

Rolling his eyes, Bucky did what he needed to do and flushed before quickly washing his hands, a redundant act as he was about to go into the shower, but habitual.

“Hey, think Stark would upgrade the water system in this building if we ask him real nice like?” Bucky asked when Clint returned, already naked.

“Maybe,” Clint pushed into Bucky’s personal space and wrapped himself around the man and Bucky suspected if he had less about him during the mornings, he’d unabashedly hang off Bucky like a damn limpet sometimes. “He can be prickly… maybe ask Steve to mention it like it’s a challenge?”

“He may be a moron, but he’s not an idiot. He’ll see through the manipulation _especially_ if it comes from Steve. Just ask him,” he pressed his lips against Clint’s neck and pulled back so he could drop his own shorts.

They both stepped into the shower and just settled down, getting themselves wet and rinsed off quickly and easily before Bucky felt a hand reaching up, carding through his hair to jerk his head back gently. Lips pressed along his jaw until they fell on his ear and it waited.

“Suck me,” Clint whispered and Bucky felt himself drop. His knees were between Clint’s feet and never one to sit idly, as soon as he’d stopped moving, he went to work.

He took the base of the, quite frankly, beautiful dick in hand while sucking the head into his mouth, earning a deep groan of satisfaction from the man above. He worked him with his hand and mouth until satisfied that Clint was hard enough before releasing his hand completely, moving both it and his metal one up Clint’s thighs. His left settled on a hip while his right settled _across_ Clint’s body, hip to hip. He slowly made his way down the length, bobbing back and forth with no real rhythm, breathing through his nose so he wouldn’t have to lose any contact.

When he felt Clint’s hips start to stutter and his groans grow louder, Bucky pressed his arm down firmly while his left hand held steady.

“Buck!” Clint’s eyes were wide and slightly nervous, his hands pressing at the sides of Bucky’s head, trying to push Bucky away. “I can’t hold it-” he whimpered when Bucky only moved back to the head of his cock. “Bucky,” his legs trembled, groaning louder when Bucky’s right arm pressed harder. “I’m gonna piss myself if you don’t stop!” Clint snapped and Bucky froze.

“You either piss first or come first,” he said finally, his lips brushing against the sensitive head easily from his position and Clint groaned. “Pick one… and we’ll go from there…”

“Shit,” Clint scrubbed a hand over his face, laughing into it desperately.

“Well I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to mess around with _that_ particular bodily function… but this I can… think about,” Bucky admitted easily making Clint laugh harder, or a little crazier, he wasn’t sure which yet.

“You want me to… what, exactly?” Clint asked for clarification but ever one to drag an awkward situation out more than necessary…

“Piss, or come. You can’t physically do them both at the same time,” he smirked up at his partner, the water droplets of the shower making his eyelashes clump together and his hair stick to his head.

“As soon as I come I’m gonna piss,” Clint pointed out.

“I am well aware of this phenomenon…” Bucky calmly pointed out but Clint waited him out this time and eventually, he sighed. “I’m… curious,” he admitted.

“I know you’re curious,” Clint hand was gently stroking the side of Bucky’s head. “Why do you think I’ve been invading your bathrooming for the last few weeks? And why I’ve not said anything… or much of anything when you do it to me?”

“ _Bathrooming_ is not a word, Clint,” Bucky pointed out, ignoring the flick against his ear. “You come,” he moved on. “I’ll figure it out from there, okay?”

“You gonna… drink it?” Clint asked, not accusatory or disgusted or anything; simply curious.

“Probably not… not today at any rate. Slow, right?”

“This had been the weirdest, longest kink negotiation I’ve ever had,” he admitted as he guided his dick back into Bucky’s mouth, stopping the other man from responding easily. “But hey, I believe in having an honest relationship,” he winked, his expression shuttering when Bucky’s eyes narrowed and he simultaneously sucked Clint down to the hilt and pressed his arm against Clint’s abdomen. “Fucker!”

Mouth full, Bucky declined to answer but rather, kept on working until he felt Clint began to tense beneath his hands.

“Oh God,” Clint sobbed as he felt the pressure against his bladder combined with the sensation of Bucky’s damn talented mouth around his dick reach a breaking point. “Buck!” he cried out, hands fisting in Bucky’s hair desperately as he started to come down the man’s throat. “Bucky!” he warned and finally, he was released, Bucky’s right hand moving to take a hold of Clint’s dick and suitably aim it _away_ from his mouth but not really away from his body.

Clint watched, panting heavily and groaning softly, relieved, as he felt his bladder empty…watched as his piss splashed against the skin of Bucky’s neck which, in turn, made the other man gasp in something close to wonder. He watched Bucky move the stream lower so it hit his chest, both nipples before moving down further until finally, the stream was landing on Bucky’s own hardened dick. Clint took his dick in hand, keeping the flow positioned exactly there while Bucky lowered his right hand quickly down so he could start jerking himself off.

It didn’t take long for Clint’s bladder to empty entirely but it was only slightly longer than _that_ for Bucky to reach his own orgasm with a few choice curses.

“Hey,” Clint murmured after they’d both relaxed. “I’m totally getting you to do that to me one day,” he grinned and Bucky laughed, pressing his face into Clint’s thigh.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed it! Let me know what you think :)
> 
> Come find me [here](http://askthecoconut.tumblr.com)


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